Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
