either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
thus making me awesome and them whores
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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