I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't deserve a penis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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