Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
