***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Are we still banned from the library?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
