Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
