Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
