If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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