I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
