OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I would ride that face into the sunset
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
