Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
smell my finger.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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