After last night, I could never be a politician.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
