He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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