He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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