i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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