i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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