Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
