it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
