At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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