a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
