i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
