whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
True college students do jello shots in the library
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
