Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
