This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
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