i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
