The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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