U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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