I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
