Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
