im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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