i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize