Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
