Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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