my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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