There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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