Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
