you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
