would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
