Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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