I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
