i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
