everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
