D3 body, D1 cock
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
