At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
