sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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