Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
