the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
