The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
