I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
