He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
