Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
