i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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