My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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