seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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